Inside the mind and heart of Venkatesh Sridhar

I had given a small incident involving my driver Chelladhurai … there is more of him …

I pestered Chelladhurai to teach me driving. He finally agreed. He was telling me about all the things I should be careful about. Like keep both of my eyes on the road. Yet one eye should see who is coming from behind (never understood how is that humnaly possible till today.)

So I turned the key to ignition and put the first gear. As with all first timers, I had problems releasing the clutch at the right time and the car stopped. I had covered a mammoth 50 metres in 30 minutes (I guess Narayan Karthikeyan would be proud of me :p seeing his current F1 form) I am an impatient guy so I said to Chelladhurai that I had enough for the day. Chelladhurai insisted and lo, this time it went smoothly I went to 2nd gear too. The car was smoothly flowing. This was on the bylane. Neither of us wanted to go to the main road as the traffic policeman would have caught us. He asked me to slow down and change the gear to first. He turned to me and asked ” U turn edupela?” (“Would you do a U-turn?”) I was like no-no, you do that. So I got out of the drivers seat and allowed him to take control of the car.

It is very important here that I mention that I was on the left side of the road and that at the end of both the roads was a dry gutter. I had parked the car on the left side in an angular manner like this… \ … Now I think you might have a fair idea of the car’s position.

So he started and he turns, looks at me and says “Ippo paarunga U-turn ippidi edukannum” (“Now you see how to take a U-turn.”) I nodded like an obedient student. He turned the key to ignition and changed the gear and pressed the accelerator and he started turning towards the right at first. All of a sudden, the rear end of the car went down. I thought we hit some pothole (a common feature of Indian roads). I think Chelladhurai too thought of the same and he turned to me and said “Ippo namma oru kuyila maatitom. Kuyilendhu vallile varanum na modhala reverse gear potu, peenadi poyi aaproma 1st gear potu vandiya eddukannum.” (” Now we are stuck in a pothole. To get out put the reverse gear, move the car back and then put 1st gear and move.”) I nodded obediently. Chelladhurai then said “Ippo paarunga. Ippidi endukarenu.” (“Now see how I do this.”)I saw him put the reverse gear and go back, the car jerked. He and me turned round in sync and to our surpise found the rear end of the car missing. I was shocked, I put my head out and saw that my genius of a driver – Chelladhurai had managed to get the left rear wheel of the car not into a pothole but into the gutter. I turned to him and he also saw what happened and he turns sheepishly and says ” U-turn edukumbodhu jaakardaya paakanum. Indha maadhi U-turn edukakudhadhu.” (“While taking a U-turn you should look carefully. You should not take U-turn like this.”)

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My friends and I still talk about the incident and have a good laugh over this. I leave it upto you to guess how we managed to get the car out of the gutter.

Making people laugh is a serious business.

Yet I will try and see if I can make you people laugh or atleast smile. These are all true incidents that have been either narrated to me or witnessed by me or where I have been involved.

The New Driver

I will start by telling you guys about a driver of mine who had recently joined. His name was Chelladhurai and he was also Tamil. He was a thin, wiry man. It was his 2nd day. My grandpa wanted to go some place and he asked Chelladhurai to get the car. Chelladhurai obediently ran and got the car to the gate. Grandpa got in.

Chelladhurai started the car and off he went. He was driving quite steadily. Then he had to stop at the traffic light. He was on a slight slope and he had put the car in gear so it will stay. My grandpa asked him to switch off the engine as it was an eight way junction and they would get the green signal only then. He obediently put the gear into neutral and switched off the engine and he forgot to keep his foot on the break and the car started going down the slope. Alarmed my grandpa yelled at Chelladhurai to hit the brakes. Chelladhurai had realised his folly and hit the brakes. My grandpa asked him in Tamil “Ye Hand Brake podalay?” (“Why didnt you use the hand brake?”). Chelladhurai looked around and calmly turns around and tells my grandpa “Aiyya, aadhu madhiri inga onume iliyeya.” (Sir, I do not find anything like that here.”)